zero

Bad Timing

2009-06-11T23:07:00.000-07:00

It is my 100th post. In the last 3 years, I have changed and today I have come to accepting that change. This blog sphere that was filled with empty and had scope for plenty is no longer empty. The virgin warmth is lost to cold rape. I have not had any awefully depressing experience ever. But, this feeling of change seeping in made the colours fly out. I don't have my way with words any more. On this note, I declare the end of this blog. I will miss the crab-shell. But, I guess it's time for the crab to walk out of the shell. It's time to enter the ocean and take to a stream. Ambition has not overcome my feelings of sensitivity, so don't discard me as ambitious. Newness and dawn of realization has brought the tree theory to a close and my imagination to the dark caverns of truth.

My last note in this shell. I don't know if this qualifies for prose or poetry. But this is how the flow came, and I let it be.

I will also publicize this post because I want everyone to know of this end.

Astray amidst the arrow-headed approach of ambition.

Why couldn't I care about career and take control of the wheel of success I must steer.

Daze and delusional drudgery sweeps me off my sunken rooted feet..

It's mush and muck I am so firmly rooted in..

The mush of romanticism that must become much less pulls me gravitationally towards the roots..

I plunge in the dilemma of dreams and duty..

Trivialities of dressing and late-coming bound unto us by the norm of civilization is suffocating..

The corporate is killing the hippie..

The norms are confronting the free-spirit..

The need to fit in is weakening the feminist..

Esteem takes a whirl and then takes a bow and falls..

The much needed beams of faith of family are crumbling with their own need to sustain..

The other pillars of friends are crumbling due to lack of faith..

The lone standing in the this world of money, power and sex is causing reform..

Reform to confirm..

Reform of ruin..

The lead blunts out so must I stop now? Is it a sign?

I must.

With this - it's the end of Zero.. Can I say, stereotypically, it's a new start.. After Zero, it's always: One - Two - Three - Go!

The end.

End of story.
Seeking glory?

Trial of the Tree Theory

2009-05-10T11:28:00.000-07:00

Words have contradicted their own meaning so many times. Inspiration has lost faith in the calling, time and again. Truth has lost its' way through transition. What we see, we believe. What we see is what is seeming.

Seeming is scheming.

With constantly questioning my being, I am losing pace. A stride I can not cope with.

Le Roi Moore paints the picture with the saxophone; I sit and dissolve in his modern blues.

Is there any need?

Can we run away, back to the tree?
Can the tree even set free?

Are we here for the self or the lack of self?

Purpose unsound. Nothing profound. It's the same, over and around.

Nothingness.

Why?

splurge

2009-04-30T15:42:00.000-07:00

The day

Two and a half tomatoes and a trio of multi-colored toes... Some polish and a little threading... A wrap around some beer mug and then a haywire trip to nowhere... A sniff and a pinch of salt... Aah, savour the flavour... An encounter with a fake hug... Some teasing, no blush... End of today!

In a conversation with Shone-ally over facebook, she said:

black inside. shiny outside. cracked and chapped. could be anything for someone else, could be anything for oneself. appealing when it can't be sold. fatal when wrappe

d around your fingers. getting rid of the rot. drowning in my own mentally challenged thought. like a ship that can't find a shore, like the island it becomes. like the island it moves toward. can't pick a side, can never pick a side.

And then, in reply, I said:

the island picked isolation.. but man made that too a nation.. and thus it thwarts to one side and then another.. letting go of the waste that is putrid.. a broken shell and a conch or two.. do we care to look at the brown sand when there's such an overwhelming blue..? how i wish we 'd drown instead! then there would be no side, we would be inside.. deep within, a beam of light.. some Davy Jones' treasure chest.. a steal down under.. who needs the thunder? all we need is something that makes us ponder to the yonder and then wander.. occupation, the only way of being..

The night

My overwhelmingly putrid mind says bye-bye to creativity and writing for now… I shall be better with time and some breath… Adios amigos!

the cynic speaks

2009-04-10T03:09:00.000-07:00

Somehow, everything is pointless.

There is people, breathing, everywhere.

There are ifs, buts and butts all over the place.

Where there is room, there is air.

And where there is vacuum, there's nothing.

Everything is occupied.

Occupation of kind, of space, and of unkind.

When I type my words, they seem deranged and they are pleading to be arranged.

It's all about show time and air time.

How do we explain the occupation?

Is there any nothing left in our world so full of nothing?

Why do we do what we do?

Passion is lost in this transition. A three-year long one. I am two thirds way there.

Poetry refuses to be by me.

Time with no ticking is all I am asking for. A freeze on stage where I alone can walk.

Why can't words be beautiful again?

For Alice

2009-04-04T14:53:00.001-07:00

Alice was the laziest and coolest dog in the world. She was called 'koolya' by all of us which translates to 'bums'. Her favorite food was coffee bite. She was part of our 3rd floor family. I will miss her. Cancer took her away from us. I love you Alice. My mother, who hates dogs in general, also developed an affinity to this little bag of nerves. Her temperament in life was uncannily similar to my own.. Whine and dine.. Didi, Alice and I grew up like sisters, almost.. :'(

May your soul rest in peace.

Closure

2009-03-01T12:16:00.000-08:00

The brightness of the room fills in perfectly. A shaft of shadow leaves a mark on the cushion lying there. A rug made up of warm colors like rust lain with a layer of dust safely marks its' spot in the room. There is a little love in a corner, huddled along the book shelf. A striking smell of ginger-tea gives a hint of awareness that we may not at all times possess.

Thought appears to have appeared out of the caffeine in the tea. A dawn upon the pawn who is willingly walking towards destruction. There is immense action, no pretense. An anticipation of intensity creeps in from the doorway which is closed.

Sudden rushes and adrenalin gushes. Why is there anxiety? There is a feeling of misadventure, unnecessarily accurate.

The beat takes a pacing pitch and the nerve catches on.

The occupation of the past was just a run-away route. The feeling of reality running into the self is rather drowning.

Breaking free by keeping busy. A breath must not be wasted is the deceitful conception.

A machine that runs the load is what the self was being.

Closure scared the self. Yes, it did.

Where is the living and the being?

Pace. Action. Pretense. Insensitivity.

Indulgence in oneself is not what we need.

The cup of ginger-tea is drunken to dregs. Awareness is gulped with guilt so slyly.

Occupation comes back alongside responsibility. They park themselves at the the desk. The room is unlit. A block of light outshines in a corner near the night lamp. The cushion is lying here. The rug has the self on it. It is also now dusted and seemingly clean.

Analysis destroyed the whole.

the day called Today

2009-02-18T12:40:00.000-08:00

today was a day called Today and the date happened to be 18th January.

At midnight, I heard stories from the cornered woman about her little kingdom-country where she had a zillion pets. She was telling me stories of the tragic deaths of her pets. Her pet hamster Fudge died of a heart attack. This heart attack was due to some bitches shining burning torch light into his tender eyes. And her pet fish committed suicide apparently because she brought some new sea water fish into the fish bowl. The sea water fish troubled the sweet one from fresh water. So the fresh water princess jumped out of the bowl. Strange, right? This kingdom-country is very blessed otherwise, oily and all that, after all. The only problems they have here are maid problems. I will elaborate on how the maid made problems - in another post.

Coming back to Today.

So, after midnight, it was early morning. 6 o' clock. Alarm rang. Cornered woman tried to wake me up. I didn't wake up. I slept away to glory, blissfully ignoring my radio assignment that was due Today. Then I was shaken up by Sukdoo at 08-20, she told me to hurry up for the class at 9. This particular class, you have to be timely, else you 'd be absent despite your presence. I conveniently woke up at 08-35 and decided to take a wonderfully long bath. My housemates had left for college by then, they banged on the bathroom door saying it was five to 9 and I must hurry. The lazy one in my house decide to bunk. And I had to run. I grabbed the gaaon ki gori in which I dumped my laptop (I abuse technology, man!) And in the Elvis bag, I had my books and wallet so I just grabbed that as well. Then, I remembered Newaari boy's laptop had to be returned so I grabbed his laptop and dumped it in a bag as well. I ran. I met my neighbour, I gave him a tense smile and ran. I ran as fast as I could to the ricksha stand. Auto took one whole minute to cross the road. Vroom vroom. MIC. Paid money. Ran. Running. Reached class. Three bags tumbling around me. My friends say, 'eh you made it to class.' I am very pleased as the teacher jee is not around yet.

I went back to my favorite last bench and wore my lenses, caught a breath and drank some water. Now I am all flustered already and our teacher jee decides to show us Requiem for a Dream. For those of y'all who have seen the movie will understand the impact of the film. It's brilliant but in the morning, empty stomach? Appetite killed for the whole day. The sound and scenes still linger in my mind. Drugs scare and intrigue me. My plan was drugs on deathbed, I am not too sure if that will happen after the film. I will only do peaced out drugs like acid, hash and grass on the deathbed. I wonder why all my favorite bands glorify narcotics so much? Lucy in the sky with diamonds... Is psychedelia overrated? Even if it is, I love the idea, will always. Wont indulge because I am too scared and I care too much.

Then I hugged my cornered woman for I felt very cranky after movie. And I went to the canteen to get something to eat and chai of course. Couldn't eat, chai mein keeda gir gaya. Uh! Newaari boy and a-jinx-yeah and my favorite Bihaaris made some happy distractions. Then I sat myself down to concentrate on academics for a while. Just when I had started to write my radio script some A19 work errupted. That done. Some UTSAV work butted in. Radio script still undone. Then it was 01:30, I wrote jaldi jaldi... Shakti Kapoor helped me convert the files...

Two of my most loved Manipal people have already left for the 4-month long exchange programme. I miss, I miss. Bittersweet.

Then a class happened with the most peaceful person in my college! I ran after class to the Sound Lab to ask questions of importance to teacher jee about my radio practicals. Then I ran to PG Lab to print my script. I did chance pe dance and took laser print outs. Spite comes! I pay 60-grand for a BA! Why not use college paper and ink and printer? Huh?

Radio Practicals happened. I am talent for two, I do that job well enough. But then comes my turn to be producer. I am nervous, more so around little-bit-intimidating teacher jee! I screw up! All wrong. My script is cool and so are my talents! But, I, suck! Don't want to say more about that.

Then it's evening. Kalamanch meeting. Audition posters go out not Today.

Then elaborate discussion on very many things of some importance.

Then I want to run to our Manipal home. But on the way my lovely Karwaar wants to pick up nose ring. So we do all that jazz. She is very new to the nose piercing so we all have to stand by her in these times of surgery, you see. It's all about the look.

Now... That lazy one was messaging about din-din... So we ran off to CCD soon after to eat a chocolate fantasy and mustard with veg puff... Decent enough... Chocolate cake craving in Manipal is never quenched!! It really sucks.

Then we have to go to KC to help put up the countdown. We waste time, nothing happens at KC. I am bummed. Faaltu waste of money, time and energy.

We say hello to Hostel people and head back home.

Drunk boys we meet in the lift, back to mighty mighty MIT-ian-full building, eh! They follow us to our floor. Ring the bell many times. We YELL at them and tell them to FUCK OFF! How much they bothered us!? But we are the champions so we just fought. The cool chicks, full on! Feminism funda! Ooh la la!

It's such breathlessness all the time. Today comes, everyday.

I take up so much work that in the end I can't give my full dedication to anything. I don't know how work follows me everywhere! Creativity and spontaneous activity are no longer my ability. My ability now is willingness to accept responsibility.

If you were wondering about the significance of the illustration on top, I must tell you, it means nothing. It's a picture clicked on Madgaon station, Goa. It's B/W and done by Mario Miranda. I just photoshopped it, little bit.

If you have read this post with endurance till this ace of base... You really love me or you are just bored... Thank you for bearing with me... I needed to blah blah yap yap for a while now...

Ummm, ignore the erratic switching between tenses and other grammatical errors!

wine

2009-01-28T13:29:00.000-08:00

raga says typing bout wine for 5 minutes will help me get rid off my writers block! i m creatively crashed right now. don't judge!

generate generate, said the somebody so great..
he stooped over a crate..

they whined and still whine..
as they step endless steps over a bottle of wine..

the grapes, they grow in the vineyard so wide,
hundreds of years ago to make this very soil some plant died!

so dead plant gave soil,
to bring the grape out with toil..

insisting he did with some, pluck pluck..
they had no choice of lets' chuck..

daily bread and butter..
they earned with instructions from this man so sinister!

they' pluck and step and pluck again,
from hither, thither, there and then!

the packaging the machine did,
a label and a cork for a lid..

now the wine made outta whine was ready,
after a little bit only, people were unsteady.

all was red. red red wine.
it was yours and mine.

drink and make merry,
forget the damned worry!

love was

5 minutes over

2009-01-08T21:08:00.000-08:00

guess what 2009..!

i am at a loss of words these days..

and the laze is crazy..

will write later..

peaceful new year to y'all..

2008-12-11T08:28:00.000-08:00

India is a SOVEREIGN SOCIALIST SECULAR DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC.

The constitution of India states the above. Yet, news channels and all of us are trying to feel proud of the way the politicians were united about combating terror at the Lok Sabha session today. Well, isn't that the way we are supposed to function anyway? Why the pride? Shame.

scare

2008-12-09T01:32:00.000-08:00

Pain, I did feel when I glued on to the TV screens seeing devastating images of the recent terror attacks. That was the pain an onlooker feels when a scene such is seen.

I was happily eating a pizza at Snack Shack in Manipal when I saw Leo's. I saw a fallen chair and it looked familiar. And then there was blood and more news and repeated clippings of terror for the next four or five days. The first time I ever did go to Leo's, it was with my Vaze and dhanananda. They are both very special people and that visit was very special as well. We reached the place at about 5 in the evening, they had breezers and beer while I had chai. The feeling of Colaba, the feeling of Bombay. It was magical, to say the least. Mom and Dad never liked the idea of me going to Colaba, back then, I was only 16, and apparently Colaba wasn't safe for me. They didn't like the idea of their little one going to a place where the Bombay brothels were. And of course, they thought that Colaba was drug overdose. So my mom and dad will never know of my first visit to Leo's. After that I grew up, so my argumentative skills swelled up. Shanataram happened. Vinee was always company. And Colaba became habit. We ignored Bandra gravely despite Shalaka and Vinne's urges to shop out there.

Then, the mad psycho guy stabbed two chinki girls at Colaba, Gateway to be precise in broad daylight. Ha! Mom had another reason to dislike Colaba. She said no more Gateway for you. By some random coincidence, my friends and I were planning on going to Gateway that same day but we didn't because we didn't know what bus to take to get there. Well, God works in strange ways.

Then the gang molestation occured. Disgusting and distasteful. Colaba was pathetic again.

Dad had memories attached to Colaba. He has been in Bombay from the early 80s. He and his cool cousins would drink pints after pints at Leo's. Kabab at Bade Miyaan. He loved Colaba. But he still felt like being over-protective about his daughter. So he 'd yell at me everytime I came back from Colaba with my junk jwellery. Once, just to take a dig at me, he told me that the earrings I had bought were made of bones and thats the crap that Colaba gives. I got grossed out and scared, I threw those earring away! Ugh.

Kala Ghoda festival further ignited my love for Colaba. That heritage walk. I love my Bombay. The information about the architectural splendour of the Sailor's Home(now Mumbai Police HQ) and Regal Cinema's neo-gothic design had me in awe of my home-city. The way the causeway was full of refugees and how it is now a popular bazaar. All the jazz. I loved, ever more.

Manipal era came. I was ocd-ing about Bombay all the time. People in Manipal were tired of my rant. But Bombay was the eternal love. So I did my presentation on Colaba. We could choose any topic we wanted and I chose Colaba. The teacher liked it and she gave me a 13 on 15. Doesn't matter because I spoke with passion. Intensity was there in the heart.

Hippie high. I took everyone I knew to Colaba. I mean, every new person in Bombay. Bhaiya ji, Kyam, Pavi, all of them. And they sure did like. I felt very content. Showing off my city, my lovely Colaba.

Then I made plans to marry a Bawa so I get a nice Colaba appartment. But thats for the future, the plan is still on.

Today, Colaba is not safe. Say the parents all over again. When they said it before, I wasn't bothered. I would endevour into the alley-ways of Colaba anyway. But now, when they say its not safe, something happens inside of me. Jitters. A hurt pierces deep. I hate that feeling. I can feel the scare. It's not alright. It's not. It's not.

I have to psyche myself out, so I forget this scare. The fact that I am scared quenches their purpose. And that is just not acceptable. Frustration.

Scare.

I will not be scared.

The onlooker phase ended when I stepped back into the city. I felt the tremour of the terror. Far far away in Manipal, the tremour was dampened by the wet soil full of no care. It's back. The grind. The pace. I shall overcome this scare.

:(

aftermath

2008-12-02T05:34:00.000-08:00

shattered.

Bombay.

done and overdone.

Bombay.

bomb not.

Bombay.

broken.

suffocation of devastation.

stop.

cause unknown.

pulverized.

Bombay.

a tear.

terror.

my country, my city, my people.

kill not.

go away.

cause unknown.

shattered.

living on a prayer.

pacing heart beats.

home coming, quick.

Bombay, i need.

run not.

face fear.

Bombay.

fear not.

no more words.

all's said.

all's done.

end of story.

ask the ones who made it gory...

where's the glory?

Shooting Stars

2008-11-24T05:11:00.000-08:00

It was a starry starry night..

The asteroids made a carpet, a nice red carpet that extended up to Mars.. Mars was was red hot with immense sex appeal.. Mars had his eyes on that cool chick, Earth.. She was so cool.. Her loony blues left a mystifying mark Mars.. There was something about those silver locks of hers too, so serene, so sexy..

Earth, was very happy in her world of flora and fauna.. She was blessed by the goddess of fertility, hence the flora and fauna was in plenty.. Mars drew closer to her because of this futile little something called fertility.. Mars just wanted mate with her and get pleasure plenty.. Earth was the kinda chick who liked a long-term relationship..

There was a twist in the tale.. Earth had Moon.. Earth was very attracted to Moon.. She spun up a tide winking at the Moon's powerful pull.. There, Moon, chased the Earth, by being the shining in the night's Armour.. Earth was very impressed..

Moon finally asked the Earth out.. Earth blushed, love erupted in the form of a Volcano on Valentines' Day.. Stupid Cupid.. Eh, love does strange things.. Volcanoes and voids, both.. Anyway, Moon started going around with Earth.. The stars whistled, cheered and applauded..

Mars was angered.. He thought, "Moon over me! How? He got craters all over him. He is pale and white. Look at me - I 'm red hot. She needs to get a life. Jupiter, Venus, they all want me. And she picks Moon over me. Eh! Her loss!"

So you know, anger=danger, Mars decided to take revenge.. Mars called the Shooting Stars.. Now, Shooting Stars are the underworld of the universal world.. Mars gave the Shooting Stars a handsome ransom and commanded that Earth be devastated.. The deal was fixed..

Shooting Stars had a code of conduct, according to which, they had to go inspect the place before an encounter.. So a shooting star flew by across Earth.. The flora and fauna on Earth gave that shooting star a lot of attention.. The shooting star was famous.. Suddenly, it was believed that you could wish upon a shooting star.. Now this particular star felt very happy, all the loving and attention.. The Underworld was informed about this experience..

This particular shooting star had declined the shoot out.. For the first time, in the history of the underworld, this had happened..!

One after the another, different Shooting Stars were sent on Earth to inspect.. They all declined.. All the loving.. Wishing upon the stars.. Blah ha..

Since then, the Don of the universal underworld keeps sending a shooting start to inspect and shoot out but all of them decline the offer after inspection.. The Earth is just too lovely to be shot down, they say.. The Don keeps recruiting newer shooting stars to do the assigned ..

I have heard that Mars is asking the Don to return the ransom amount.. Mars has moved on.. He is hitting on Venus these days.. The Don is still trying.. It's literally like we, the flora and fauna, of Earth, are wishing upon those shooting stars to not shoot us down..!

Oh and Moon is still completely committed to Earth.. They have been making some crazy tides off late, a Tsunami and a big wave.. Wild is the way they like it.. Anyway, that is not of our concern.. We should not pry into their personal lives..

Fuck! I just got a wire from Celestial News, Mars has been hit on by a shooting star.. Well, it was not an attack.. This shooting star was female and she just had the hots for very red hot Mars.. Nobody taught the underworld, a code of conduct, about love.. Sigh! So she, the shooting star, just came and hit on, collision, BANG!

Mars quite liked it, by the way..

It is a starry starry night, tonight..

the happenings

2008-11-15T03:49:00.000-08:00

'bombay' is the love of my life.
i like speed, i always thought i was scared of speed.
i really wanna go surfing with ishita.
i wanna watch dostana, badly.
i wanna watch a lot of hindi(masala) movies.
'company' is the best gangster movie i 've see so far. dunno why i missed it for so long.
'a Wednesday' gave me another dose of brilliant film-making. never mind the stereotypical 'twist' ending. the dialogue, the dialogue delivery and the man who delivered the dialogue, are wow-deserving.
dunno why 'mumbai meri jaan' is supposed to be so good?! i thought it was okay.
i really wanna go surfing with ishita to see dolphins but i 'm scared i 'll drown or get stung like maani did.
the so many quotes i 'm using will piss 'shakti kapoor' off and that is the intention!
i think 'delhi durbaar' is very entertaining, to my own surprise.
i miss a-jinx-yeah, why? don't ask. he has not come to my house and slept like a prawn for so many days now!
alok, baba and sunny are amazing comic relief. and i like them.
walking to per-say's house at 1 am is a bad idea cuz he lives in a haunted village! but its nice to check out nepali models online. chinki body builder men.. ooh la la! ;)
waking africa up is a task! the girl wont wake up to scary payal sounds or banging on the door or a tickle or even the smell of rotting pickle.
i like nepali people, period.
the indian viagra is called 'suhaagraa', so says my husband. and that is added to the milk the wife brings when there is suhag raat.. must be!
i have gotten married 2 times so far.. love me 2 times..
chik chik aah.. chik chik aah.. aah.. our home chant..
profound silence dropped off..
kyam wants to paint bulbs, i 'm very pleased..
can i get married again?
watching sunset from a sloping roof in a stoner-house-with-a-bath-tub and a-very-affectionate-dog-to-pet is like redemption song..
another bengali affection strikes, indian ocean..
i have to return french notes to aashika..
i m going back home in december by garibh rath.. hehe..
manipal is beginning to work its charm on me..
i love our play, shanti haraeko suchna, never mind the psychedelia..
i m gonna watch rock on soon, finally! its 58.6% download done on utorrent..
plunge, ponder and then wander.. it 'll be nice..
malpe is nice at night..
new found freedom in a car..!
it was very nice to have roshan's mom at home.
bewde is a busy person.
i finally did overcome my fear of the escalator, thanks to delhi durbaar. shalaka-vinee, be happy!
the deejay makes interesting conversation on facebook.. no this deejay got no music she plays..
i love my parents very much! very very much.
i love my grand-parents more, i think.
going to historical places at night is a bad idea.. obscurity..
favitra is taking too long to come back..
naimul cream my bangladeshi brother, his birday is coming up..
i dunno why but i can't get myself to studying. its' time. but still i can't! i hope papadoodles doesn't see this bit. je still ne sais pas francaise!
i love my shone-ally..
why is ceejay feeling older? the mosquitoes greyed his hair or what?

can the above be called wasting cyber-space? double meaning is there.

okay, i 'm done.

the frog and the princess

2008-11-06T12:10:00.000-08:00

there was once a frog..
he was jealous of the attention given to the dog..

he croaked and croaked..
no one wanted to listen to his voice so broke..

he wondered how he could draw some attention..
and be worth some mention..

he thought a pretty girl called princess he would please..
and like the legend goes - a prince he would be..

he stood tall in front of princess..
he could not impress..

he knew not the ways to make her try him..
he turned very very grim..

he didn't realize he stood in the middle of the road..
here, i must say, he was a frog okay, not a toad..

the car that roaring one was speeding..
that's when princess noticed him..

a nature lover she was..
towards saving him, she was naturally (pun intended), drawn..

she ran in a frenzy and saved the day..
inside his head, the frog was saying, 'yay yay!'

an awe she felt for the poor little froggie..
she thought he was cuter than her doggie..

she kissed him out of some overwhelming feeling..
there, a prince instead of a frog, came emerging..

she fainted at the sight with the reigning level of the excite..
he held her from fainting, tight..

she woke up in a while..
soon, together they walked the isle..

they lived happily ever after..
now, they are waiting to be father and mother..

the crap i write! just felt like posting a sidey something.. bear with me people..

2008-10-20T06:12:00.000-07:00

wrote this while coming back to manipal from bombay, beginning of this semester, on the train.. which means i wrote this on 22nd july..

bombay

Purple sky lines emerge,
Amidst the jungle of concrete.
The sea is all around,
Yet plays discreet.
The million faces change everyday,
Running ruthlessly towards pace...
The suburbs expand towards everywhere evermore.
Windows open to clutter galore.
Air suffocates the breath...
Disease rises so does crime!
Heaps of dirt pile on pathways,
As animals dig wrappers of food.
A sky walk so bright is built...
Amenities basic are just ignored,
the beat runs through the cult!
A fire burns to keep the spirit alive..
A stive, a strife, to life..
On the run, at the edge...
The spunk!

manipal

Zephyr so calm spreads over head...
A slow step emerges in the road so wet.
You walk, you talk, sometimes you fret!
Sloping roofs and few emerging skylines...
More of the young, less of the old.
Trade is plenty.
Greens patches disturbed and empty.
A bump into acquaintances - so frequent.
Warmth exists in the cool.
City buses honk loudly in the narrow streets..
A temporary sanding.
An emergency landing.
Alcohol, smoke and the club,
At every 10 meters, there's a pub...
You know, and, you let go...!

2008-10-13T20:28:00.000-07:00

this is my first take at film making..

temme truly what u think..

honesty shall be taken in good spirit..

cribbing about room

2008-10-10T11:09:00.000-07:00

please don't read if you don't like cribbing.

i like people but not all the time.
i am tired of no room.
I need some room in my own room.
i need to feel like its mine.
cornered woman might wonder why i never clean up.. it is cuz i barely ever have any room.
i need space.
i need room.
room for space.
a spacious room.
i m tired and stressed and i want the world wide web to know this cuz otherwise i can't say it.
it's ok to have people over and with them. but, it's wrong to let them take over the personal space. the room is room to a lot of me. but it never smells like me or breathes like me.
unfair. it is like 108 all over again. unfair.
i need to run. far away. somewhere i need to belong, i need room.
cornered to litening to someone talk right now. she needs to be heard. but i need room too.
i feel neglected like i don't need to be heard.
i am tired of talking to my soul home-mate about my shit cuz she has hung on forever and i don't want to bother.
i need to run.
run to bombay.
to my home where i have a room.
need some room for me.
r o o m

2008-09-18T04:13:00.000-07:00

je ne sais pas francaise.

2008-09-09T08:59:00.000-07:00

So this one is relatively different.. It is about 'useful equanimity'.. This 'equanimity' is a new word I learned from a-jinx-yeah.. I dedicate this part of 'tree theory' to two of my closest friends, wippie and cornered.. Both cornered and wippie do not realize how they have helped in the churning of this suc-seed-ed part four! Any way read.. You have to know previous tree theory knowings to understand his one, search for 'tree theory' on this very blog and read bottoms up.. ;)

Tree Theory Four
useful equanimity

Animals they were living alongside in a jungle...
A monkey, two elephants and a dog, different species though, happily they would mingle!

The jungle was just enough for their belonging.
They ate, drank, celebrated and were happy with all the happening.

Together they gazed at the starry sky.
And watched the humans as they 'd pass-by...

The monkey was a sage in his own way,
All things materialistic he had given away.

He lived on food offered to him by the dog.
The dog had vision so powerful that he could see through fog.

A seer, a sayer, a fortune teller...
The dog could see beyond the layer.

The dog lived outside the elephant's house to guard,
The she-elephant was as sweet as honey and the he-elephant was in her love, a bard.

She loved him as much as well,
Together they were a complementing couple.

The dog, monkey and elephants were a family so perfect!
Each-other, they loved and one-another, they would protect.

Together they gazed at the starry sky.
And watched the humans as they 'd pass-by...

The tip of the ice-berg had begun to surface..
Our jungle here was spotted by the human rat race.

They came, they saw and they conquered.

At frst they cut the monkey's tree,
The monkey died and his spirit set free.

Then they domesticated the dog,
That was the end of the dog, caught in a suffocating bog.

The elephants' they killed for their tusks so valuable,
The souls of the elephants went up and high like water in a bubble.

The jungle was vandalized.
Every organism was traumatized.

The four of them to whom the jungle belonged,
Were granted tree spirit with a strange magic wand.

Trees they were now with plenty tolerence.
With a whole lot of modest indifference.

Together they gazed at the starry sky.
And watched the humans as they 'd pass-by...

~~~

end of theory.
where's the glory?

obscure insecurity

2008-08-17T16:53:00.000-07:00

Thought befriended Talk one day... Time was also there a plenty. Thought thought why not talk it out! Thought began to talk Talk to talk. For Talk, to talk was a non-issue, so talked Talk. Time was a plenty. To listen, there was Nobody. Nobody didn't turn up because Nobody didn't have the time a plenty. So where was Nobody? Nobody was with everybody who had Talk talking without Thought for a friend. Talk was a good talker, but naturally, by the grace of pomp and show and play on words airy.
'Now what?', thought Thought! Thought had thought that befriending Talk would bring him audience so that there is change in perspective. But, now Thought's thought had seemed in vain. So what was Thought to do to bring an audience? Thought thought of befriending the thoughtlessness, because Thought thought that Talk-without-Thought-for-a-friend had brought the audience. The moment Thought took to thoughtlessness, end came. The thought to talk and be heard didn't arise because of thoughtlessness.
Talk still talked with thoughtlessness because to talk for Talk came naturally.
Time was still there a plenty, because the Earth likes to move it move it...!
Audience came to listen because time was a plenty.

That is the end of this story.
I am urging you to find the glory!

2008-08-12T13:14:00.000-07:00

am i weird?

Food is Good

2008-07-08T07:49:00.000-07:00

When man and woman first ate,

I am not quite sure if they were on a date.

Or if there was even a plate!

They just ate – by some chance of fate.

Did they know that food came in variety then?

Did they know they could fry a hen?

Did they even live out of a den?

Maybe they lived in a fen even!

Did they imagine they would have to diet!

And food they would have to fight?

And that food with carbs and wasn’t right?

Sinful was anything cooked in sauce white!

Fat equaling to ugly was a result of multiplied food?

Did the first-man-to-eat-food know that dude!

Did he know that to binge could depend on one’s mood?

He didn’t know what he had started was to obesity, a prelude!

The first-woman-to-eat-food didn’t know,

That food would make her grow and grow!

And leave her on an eternal low!

Also that she would have to cook some more, and more!

Neither of them knew the trap of the food! Sigh!

What a break in the high!

But, if they didn’t eat then, they would die!

And the Earth would just say Bye-Bye!

So good,

That they ate some food!

cool granma me!

2008-06-28T12:32:00.000-07:00

i wanna be a cool granma.. that is the aim of my life! i really mean it.. if i am a cool granma, i will treat all those of u who are reading this post.. so pray for me.. pray that i am the granma i wannabe.. i dont wanna nag or be a burden on anyone.. i 'll be the yoga doin, globe trottin kinda granma.. i shall chill with my latest ipod (it will still be called museIc).. i 'll make my granchildren listen to good music.. i 'll make my special strawberry cream cake and nice daal.. i 'm takin less baths so that they have water left then.. well - i think u shud take less baths too, cuz u don't wanna be a bad granparent..! they will love me so much that i wont be insecure at all.. oh i love my granchildren already.. i wanna have dreadlocks by the time i m granma.. that is very important to be the cool granma.. and natural ones.. not the salon done up crap like.. i wont do botox, cuz that 'll just be uncool.. and yeah, by the time i 'm granma, i will have a house at colaba.. cuz i 'll have pataaod a rich bawa in my mid 30s(shhh, it only for the colaba apartment).. so when i am sixty, those granchildren will love to visit me.. cuz i live in such a cool place.. it is all bout the coolness.. and like chilled coolness, not the wannabe coolness.. i am very evil.. i also want two nice doggies for myself.. we 'll watch tv together, 3s company, doggies n me.. this of course if the bawa dies.. i 'll take my granchildren to theo bromas everyday! they can eat till their heart is content. i am gonna be a cool granma.. i will make my kids listen to 'across the universe.. jai guru deva.. om..' instead of the stereotypical bhajan.. kickass haan! my teerth yatra is gonna be memphis for sure, the king, all hail!! and yea.. i 'll be a good granma.. imagine values like the tree theory i 'll be imparting to those granchildren.. and they 'll grow up listenin to my rhymes bout puck and duck and the broom alien.. they 'll get bed time stories of the big bang and other heavenly hestiaisms.. i m feelin self obsessed now.. i really must shut up.. lol!

so will i be a cool granma after all..?

2008-06-25T02:47:00.000-07:00

I spoke to Rahul Bose yesterday.. I can't belive my luck and Sachi's goodness! I am still so excited about it.. Now I am one step closer to marrying him! Lol.. Here goes.. How I talked to Rahul Bose for full on 7 minutes..

Me: Hello, Hi.. Ummm.. I am a reporter from DNA.. Can I talk to you for 5 minutes..

Him: Yes.. Depends on what you want to talk about..

Me: Well, this is about the new skywalk that has been built at Bandra..

Him: Why do you want to talk to me about that? Do you think your readers care about what I think about the skywalk! This is how people like me lose credibility.. I cannot comment on something I don't know about

Me: Sorry.. Well it is in relation to the effect the sky walk has on pedestrian culture..

Him: Okay.. It takes a long time for the pedestrian culture to grow. Most Mumbaikars make for unhappy and reluctant pedestrians. Look at how rarely we use subways and choose to cross a packed road instead. For instance, pedestrians still cross at Heera Panna despite the subway. Why shouldn’t they continue to cross roads instead of taking the skywalk? So far this city has paid no attention to pedestrians and I don’t see things change overnight because of the skywalk. It will take a long while for people use new facilities. Without laws, nothing will change. Part of the blame lies with the administration. Alright?

Me: Hmmm.. Thank you so much..

Him: Well, thank you Miss Anonymous!

Me: By the way.. Ami here

Him: Thank you Miss Ami.. Bye!

Me: Bye!

journalism = googling

2008-06-13T05:03:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, a silly girl decided to intern in a newspaper office. Considering it was her first time, they decided to give her all the pong work. All she had to do the whole entire day was 'google' things.. Helter skelter, hither tither, blah blah, google google! And then, there was work! Like one day, they sent her away to find people and their views in Kothachiwadi and Gaiwadi. The rest I shall right bout later, cuz I am very bored as you can make out.. Blah ha!

Tree Theory (Part Three)

2008-06-06T02:16:00.000-07:00

Tree and Self Respect

Tis the soul of a mother this time…
Her religion was that of love,
And rituals included unconditional services a plenty.
She was very old when she died,
The entire family had been by her side.

Her life wasn’t such a smooth ride,
There came many a times, a bad tide…
Her husband of twenty five,
At twenty six, wasn’t alive.
It was tragic, to say the least.

Two children, twins they were,
On her own she had to nurture.
Herself as a mother, hardly mature.
But life as it is, a great teacher,
Taught her toil through turmoil.

She gave and gave, never stopped…
She didn’t even expect any returns.
She just contributed always.
She never turned away or shrugged.
Even as hopes were drugged.

Her best friends told her to have self respect.
She didn’t even bother giving thought to that aspect.
Loved she was, she did realize…
In the middle of issues so many, no time to time analyze.
Then, when done, she died.

God granted her the tree spirit.
She suc-seed-ed and got planted.
To ground realities, firmly rooted.
Flowering and fruitful she was.
A swing hung by her branches too, for the little girl who lived across.

Another branch given for fire wood.
And fruit let be damages by a bird.
A whole hole in the bark for the wood pecker.
An ant colony at the base.
A spirit in the ace.

All was given for greater god.
‘Self’ was the only element that had no place in the wood.
Respect for all others, up front.
Respect for self, non-existent.
All was done, yet, nothing was said.

Nevertheless, worship of the tree in paganism,
Is an evident truth.
Touching wood, an anti-jinx,
Is a common ritual.
The importance of the tree comes,
Without any imposition.

Self respect may be in the tree.
Yet it is respected by everybody to set free.
It’s all about the good karma,
Which the tree has in plenty.
Let live and live, let the mantra be!elf-Respect

2008-05-31T09:47:00.000-07:00

5 things i didn't know!

1. Lenses are made of resin and not raisin! (same organic jazz in the end)

2. Soap operas are called so because in the early years by some coincidence only soap companies sponsored 'em!

3. NDTV has an entertainment channel now called NDTV Imagine, which FYI, sucks ass!

4. My grand dad is mad about IPL..!

5. Twinkling things in the sky are not necessarily stars, they can be planets as well! (*sigh*)

the above points are not confirmed by any knowledgeable source as such. they are affirmed by certain somebodies i trust.. any discrepancy will be accepted!

energy efficient

2008-05-16T14:02:00.000-07:00

la la la la la

another one of my dreamy drawings..
ishita helped with li'l bit of the musings..
this started with some studying..
here goes, happy reading..

in today's time, we derive energy and electricity from water, atoms, coal and i don't know what not.. this is causing some harm for the time-yet-to-come because the Earth has limited resources, and human kind has unlimited desires, and, the desire of human kind is also leading to some more human kind! its like, we are on fire.. well well.. now due to all of this, we are unable to use those resources in a sustainable way (EVS - deja vu)... as a result, there will be a time when our future generations will not be left with much to use.. and this is rather sad because our previous generations have given us so much, inventions, innovations and introspection.. we at our pace of growth of technology are leaving them with pollution, paap and pondering! tch tch..

so with all this jazz in your head that i have filled.. i am gonna enlighten u with my extremely hypothetical solution to this.. leave aside logic and thought, look at only what i got..

okay.. energy efficiency is our purpose.. imagine if u were sitting in one place doing good things and thinking of all optimisms, positivity would flow to u.. the negativity would be in the static constancy of purpose, lets say.. so that positivity along with the negativity would create 'energy efficient' in different capacity.. the more good u do, positivity is created more.. and this keeps creating energy around.. more good karma, more energy.. its all about the right equation.. 'energy efficient'..

with this 'energy efficient', u will be able to run anything and everything.. how? because it is all about the right 'thought'.. this thought will leave in a daze and it will bring u so much that it will all go swarming past in a haze! don't u get it yet? 'energy efficient' is something u can draw stuff from.. almost literally draw.. u can connect via telepathy, better than internet naa! u can paint pictures on life-size canvases.. and videos can roll live streaming in the memory... blogging.. err.. you push button publish it with the power of the tongue n thought n the numerous actions that speak louder than words.. social networking will drop down with good-ass karmic bonds.. then as far as podcasting is concerned, there would be so many a capella doers and guitar players all over the gray street entertaining and stuff! p2p would then literally mean peer to peer! and the travel would be so much easier with 'energy efficient', maybe u would see n feel what's somewhere else by imagination and the some creativity, actually this is better than google earth also! a search engine could be literally replaced by searching for stuff trotting hither and thither.. and time should be caught in a handful of sand.. sands of time.. it would just waver then to our own whims and fancies! isn't that better than the battery run clock that ticks endlessly to tell u how late u r! all of it being instant karma! do good and make 'energy efficient'.. la!

and the Earth will just be happier cuz the resource is human resource which by the way is in plenty(like i said in the beginning of the post), and pro-creation is something that can not end because there is desire and feminists.. feminists because, they 'll fight to keep the girl child alive! the boy child is loved enough to stay anyway (*sigh*)...

'energy efficient' should be the future of good times.. we need a break from technology.. like seriously.. sometimes, i wish people who comment on my blog n read it could hear the same things from me instead, it would be so much more cooler..

i know that i m being very dreamy and u 'd say i probably couldn't live without technology.. but the truth is, if from the very beginning, i was not given any, i 'd probably be happy! u get it?

time wasted or what? reading this.. well well.. mine was, writing this.. cuz i have an exam on internet and new media later today.. now u know what ignited the mind.. ;)

buh-bye fellow dreamers..
'energy efficient' could actually happen..
its crude right now, but i 'll give it some thought..
remember one thing.. all the darned water, fuel, coal, etc. you use to make today's energy is also crude until it's refined and processed.. so gimme some more time.. i 'll bring you the theory, full on then!

tee hee hee

peaced out

2008-05-08T11:14:00.000-07:00

So, today was a really peaced out day..
I was walking with attachment and rasta after hogging at KC and the Chaat Place.. One dosaa and one kachori chaat, so much I eat!! We decided to chill cuz I was quite irritated after finding no peace in the college library also, my room has NO peace anyway, there is constant clutter and confusion! But thats cool cuz it keeps the adrenalin rushing.. Yes I am little retarded, i like noise n jabber a lot, but in the dreadful exam time, u need li'l space! Actually generally also, u need little space, which is impossible in 108.. But - then its cool cuz I have family here!
Now coming back to the peaced out day.. So after the hogging, rasta, attachment and I walk to a garden near the cottages.. the garden has a psychedelic fountain and two really sweet black dogs.. So we sit there for three hours talking about Bombay and life in general.. It really help to have some common cultural bonding. Its' nice, these two along with my cornered woman are gonna be my home-buddies once we move out.. It 'll be nice cuz all of us have roots in my favorite city.. Yes, forgive me for I am always OCDing bout Bombay.. But u know what, I am gonna miss that pong bong once I move out.. There is no common shit between us, in fact, at times, there is NO understanding! But, there is a whole lotta love I guess and that makes us stand thru with each others' crap at the end of the day. You know I know that she feels horrible bout us not being broomies anymore, but the pong that the bong is, she 'll not show it, at least I 'll crib and get it done with, she 'll gulp it in and get constipation!
anyway, back to the peaced out day.. we had our peace at the garden and then it was dark.. the sun had come down.. the Vennugopal temple bells had finished ringing! so it was night.. hmmm.. now - what to do?
time for some sweet stuff.. ice cream at KC? nah.. why not caramel custard at Manipal Canteen.. Yummy Yummy! Just like Gulshan's caramel custard and for a 15 rupees (thanks to the curly haired senior who told us bout it)! We run like three little pigs to the ricksha stand.. You see, Manipal has made us lazy, we refuse to walk even half a kilometer! so we came to the place and fortunately there were only 3 more of those yummy things left.. now slurp, gulp, yummy in tummy! happiness.. food is the best relief.. now i got reminded of cornered woman sayin, skin will shine, oh my god, u li'l babies, so cute u 'll look with all that eating - now u temme - who likes a flabby girl!! :P so the cornered woman so shut up basically.. idyattt!
anyway..
now this is all done.. we got to the vada pav stall.. onion bhajji - 1 plate.. mirchi bhajji - 1 plate.. 1 vada pav.. burp.. enough man!! more happiness!!
now we walk to the fountain at greens.. isn't that so happy.. all red n yellow n light green with the sound and sight of water.. bonus happiness.. we lay down on the grass in fronta the fountain.. we listened to floyd there.. killer it be.. so oh peaced out.. coming back to life! it was 1 hour that we spent there..
now we walk out and decide to eat paan.. oh khaike paan banaras wala.. so we eat sweet paan with loadza gulkand.. great happiness (like the sunny boy in macbeth)
now.. this wasn't enough - its 10-20 - past perm time - more g***d masti we have naa.. we decide to go to end point!! while walking - we get a few whistles.. nah - we are not hot, the men are just lame! well then - we go and sit at one of the gazebos there and we sit and watch the blinding lights in Manipal.. they have commercialized end point so much that the natural beauty of the place is almost gone like.. sigh - this bad bad world! peaced out still - its a lovely breeze..
now its eleven.. we walk till China Valley and head straight to Fresh and Honest, some coffee to soothe.. some coffee to breathe.. suddenly we see Pavamm walking in with a boy.. Oooh - the head thinks.. but that Pavamm and her chatter kills it! no ooh, all boo!
coming back to 108.. the akka asks bout the cornered woman, I say she lives in the room all the time!
enter 108.. Sleepy girl is sleeping.. Cornered woman is talkin to the guy with a good voice and my bong pong is missing..
anyway.. that's it!
it was a nice day with some studying done!
phew..
PS: today, i wrote bout almost all the ppl who are important to me in Manipal.. to top it all, one of my gtalking senior told me i looked nice today - well then.. good day haan! but i don't know how to react to these goodie compliments.. peace out yo!

missing bombay

2008-05-06T01:30:00.000-07:00

running late,
making vinee wait!

in the train, cribbing,
and hair setting!

from station to college,
meeting people at every step!

neha, gaurav, arjun, dhana and vaze,
vinee/shalaka get bummed as I socialize with my gang LA!

i miss walking with Vinee and Shalaka all over the place..
those were the days..

the causeway and linking road,
shopping to breathe the mind so bored..

eating at Classic, and franky at the place Modi recommends,
in a kingly way the roaming at the road that has many bends!

appu, arsheen and shobhana on karla tripping,
roshni from here to there running!

bunking an economics prelim,
to see hrc where live the musicians who smoked a lotta chillum!

eating at gulshan and DPs,
irritated nevertheless by snow point manager's services!

studs and bags at the flower pot that remains no more,
telling apurva that chinaman is worse than ever more!

coffee and mysore masala at mani's and vishnu ki chaay
in 2005, the LA n vaze, we talked so much crap, i don't lie!

oh roshni's affair with the cold coffee guy!
my my!

i cant write more,
my heart is sore..

i wish i was there right now,
in the only place that creates a wow!

bombay bombay,
u made me happy, day after day!

BCL and books,
guys with good looks!

i miss the city,
that makes me li'l pretty!

the polluted air,
the cheap travel fair!

Bombay Blues and Aloo tikki burger,
pawar nagar bus uske upar!

haathi mera saathi,
paandu ki lathi!

nariman point in the hot sun,
was also fun!

ugh,
huh!

love is too much for the place,
can't wait to be back in a couple of days!

lost and not found

2008-04-28T13:01:00.000-07:00

it happened.. well, i am guilty.. i didn't mean to be irresponsible.. but i was.. i am horrible.. lemme tell you about the loser week.. the damage is done.. i am sorry - everybody! :'( I guess twas destined to be this way.. I have never been worse.. I am so fugged.. argh..

kim's laptop keys got fugged cuz i dropped appy in it.. i did.. i did.. how horrible i am!

sonali's pen drive i left off at campus store.. i did.. dreadful dreadful me!

museIc, enough is said.. *sniff*

my wallet with the icici card - gone - dropped it somewhere!

mother India, my cell phone, I dropped from Shenoy's, camera gone! chaddi chor i am, i am! i made mother India - blind - BLIND!! ugh!!

random guy from MIT - gave me his book of poems to keep safely - and I - I - LOST it! this is the most horrible thing to do! yuck - i am disgusted with myself! sheesh.. shame..

and i lost every event i participated in, no wining!

swathi's lovely green earrings..

i will be punished! i really am horrible.. crime it is..

i think i lost my head as well!

:'(

PS: this post is not for evoking your sympathy dear reader.. it is a confession, an acknowledgment! and acknowledgment is the first step to learning!

to museIc

2008-04-27T03:39:00.001-07:00

he is white.. he was born in 2005.. an Apple somebody made him.. he had no peas in his pod.. but he had some music in his pod.. he was of the nano family.. nicely touch sensitive, he always gave a response to me.. he came to me from a brother in Hong Kong.. but then came Loser week.. along with the many things that were devastated, he was injured as w ell.. as you sow, so you reap.. this is for museIc, the ipod...

museIc is loyal..
with playlists many..
207 songs and many hours of music..
the best travelling companion..
it's been 3 years since i had him..
when there was a new theory or rhyme, you played the right music suiting the time!
you never died out when i needed you!
pure as pure white!
the chord we struck was just priceless!
my museIc was named by me..
recently, my museIc was injured..
the screen got a black blob..
the black is like a burn..
but the music still plays..
but it hurts my heart to see this friend so burnt!
i feel like have not been loyal..
i cried the whole week for my museIc..
i am a material girl in the material world..
but museIc is a person..
no one has ever understood my moods better..
the games i played on museIc!
the times you slipped from my clumsy hands, oh museIc,
you still remained in the pink of health..
but today u r burnt my dear best friend..
i miss carrying you with me always..
i can still carry you but I want to save you from further damage..
I will listen to you only in security and privacy..
I promise never to leave you on that dreadful table all alone..
that food place near-by has many a dreadful beings..
museIc..
I love you, really..
thank you for the music, museIc..
from filmy to freddie mercury..
from led zeppelin to layla..
from jailhouse rock to jammin'..
from everything i do to everyday!
you made me love you!
:-'(

Phases of the Moon

2008-04-20T15:11:00.000-07:00

The Moon decided one day that it will not draw light from the Sun. The stars heard of this and they were very happy? Because, then they would have their limelight, else the Moon would always steal the thunder. The clouds thought, ‘this is lame dude!’ But the Moon had logic. So the Moon said,

‘My aim is to provide tide and not light. So I don’t have to be luminescent. It’s like wasting resources, power and all that jazz. We‘ve gotta start saving up. The Sun is around only for a little bit now. As it is we have power cuts and problems such all the time! You know, nothing lasts forever…’

Then the Sun heard of this heavenly choice. The Sun said,

‘Awe Luna… You are so cute. But stop being loony and listen up… I understand you care. But our light generation is beyond the tide or the cause to provide light. Do you realize? You with your luminescence inspire so many artists, musicians, writers, poets and such other folk. And, you know it is these folk that happen to be the conscience of the world. So don’t darken yourself, the world will be sold out. Instead, you could just phase out once in a while and in the process save some light.’

Hence, there is a cycle, crescent, no, new, full, et al, phases of the moon, faces of the moon! It’s lovely. Hence the different phases in the moon story! The Universe and the Nature, it’s just amzazing. Lets’ draw some dreams on that canvas. Lets’ get some inspiration too. Lets’ save our light, and tide (because after global warming due to all that greenhouse phenomena, the deluge is the final disaster).

End of story.
Now, there’s glory!

be cause?

2008-04-18T05:54:00.000-07:00

there was once a cause..
because?
there was many a clause,
that made our cause..
we ran, because?
we had a cause..
what goes around, comes around.
random was read.
so be cause,
then cause will be!

2008-04-01T15:06:00.000-07:00

jabber

i am a labeled feminist and i am considered opinionated. apparently, i am judgmental as well. recently, i have added another beautiful word to my list, i am 'asexual' now, not attracted to men or women. i feel horrible. who am i trying to fool?

this is by far my most personal post. i am nothing like this.

i am a little girl still stuck in that moment of love that was three years ago. i am not at all strong. and - i really care about what people think of me. it matters! i am not in love, i am long over that. but, that intense an emotion cannot be replayed! it cannot. how much love can you give? i gave my all already. i felt the same way as a 16-year old and today as a 19-year old, i feel the same way. my growth is stunted. i am living in a horrible pathetic stagnation of love that was!

why am i curbing my own growth?

but can you love again and again? it's tough right? it's supposed to be unconditional and seriously intense. you cannot keep getting to that snip snap! or can you?
i am a hopeless romantic. and in all honesty, all i need is love. love from the ones i love and the ONE i love. now that ONE cannot love me. he has better things to do in life.

that stop of growth has made me so type-casted. i am a free-spirited person you know. i like to be liberated. but now - i am stuck in less-arty-more-farty conventionalism than ever before.

ask me? ego? i don't have that much of an ego. i really don't. ask me to surrender, after little loving, i will!

i just use 'ego problem' as an offense to counter those awkward moments. and offense is best defense. you must think i am such a farce.
didn't you figure already? my hitches, qualms and revelations come out very often.
rage and whine has become an inevitable part of my life. i cannot tolerate people like me at all. by people like me i mean the weak minded people who cannot get over their past. why? because you tend to hate what you dread the most yourself. so i yell at them. i owe those people an apology. because according to my head - i am yelling at them for being me!

is it that important to have companionship? well yes! it is.. bloody hell yeah! how can you live like a lone bird. but i HAVE to. because i really can't love again. i don't think so.

it's something so far away but no this girl is little and stupid. she cannot think of the beyond.
today that horrible cornered woman in my room was telling me about someone from her life who faces similar problems. i felt like i had a soul mate for a bit. because i really feel his sorrows. i wish i could reach out to him and help him. those initial months after the break-up, you really determine in your head, the way things are going to be. if you don't change it quickly, it lingers, it changes you. and the change is NOT for the better. i just want to go up north and change things for the him from my cornered woman's life. i have no idea why i feel so miserable for that stranger-almost. hot tears roll down my face as i write. i think of those horrible days.
why is it so difficult to let go? i still haven't let go! i can't let go. i have let you go. but i can't let go.

i miss the presence. just presence even if it was pretense.

now that ONE particular he thinks i need psychological help to get over this whole love. i don't think so. because it is not like i don't do other work. i am busy now. and i am not obsessed. this only came to my head as a result of some conversation with that cornered woman. by the way - i like chivalry and romance and being protected most of the times!

please tell me if i can love again? because i want too yaa.. really.. if i am not lovable - i know - i can love a lot for sure.

and i really don't want shady love.

why isn't love reciprocated? why doesn't love always have happy endings? why does thought process interfere with love? why does dogma come in between? why does love sway with attraction? why does something so perfect come to such a sad end?

(what bad luck it is that things have come to such a sad end. i hate that robber tajumaro or whatever his name is - lines from my play)

i think i should shut up now. it's a lot of jabber. enough.

i am back to being the opinionated and feminist cliche. and oh yeah asexual again! i love this avataar. it is kickass.

end of story?
there's no glory?

alright - judge me. call me hypocrite! i told you i suck from the very beginning. and this is not self pity.

PS1: i get more than enough love and attention from my friends and family. i think i can live on my own, unloved!

PS2: the middler liver thinks it ll be horrible if i leave. i think so too. how to tell her that? i will talk to her dad tomorrow. i really will. i love her a lot, i don't even know why. this is sisterly love of course!

PS3: play station 3!

PS4: do you want more?

PS5: i am gonna take a dive.

PS6: i like to play with sticks. i am so messed in the head.

PS7: another he told me to give comments on some question he posed. here goes...

his question:

feminism

Purely academically:

Is feminism a product of insecurity & an innate inferiority complex?

..

End post.

my reply:

lets' define one thing first.. feminism.. what is feminism? it is when women demand equality of opportunity and rights.. when i say feminism - i don't mean - give us a dabba in the local train - seat in the parliament or punish only the men in case of adultery. feminism is - look at us normally - change ur perspective! we are no mere objects of desire. we are human beings. we have flaws and faults like u do!
and as far as insecurities go.. even the 'man' you talk of hasn't evolved over these many trivial insecurities. tell a man - stay equal - he will not accept? why? because he has an ego and he needs that status? he needs to feel happy bout the fact that he dominates. he is insecure bout the fact that - what if - she succeeds! and then u say.. man has evolved.
evolution that many a text books talk off, is more of a characteristic evolution and not an evolution of character!
that so-called inferiority complex is a better quality than what men have.. as in, men are too shy of their own emotion.. they cannot face it.. who's the weaker one then? at least, we cry - shout - scream - and get it done with!
so basically yeah..
i dunno if i made any sense!
###

so basically i am not all a farce! ;)

2008-03-22T12:58:00.000-07:00

Let's play Tag!!!

He Bhagwaan.. Karishma said - lets play tag - i thought - what is this.. but it turns out.. this is fun! lets play tag.. la la la! by the way - our news website i.e. the manipal journal, now, has its own server.. cool or what!! the new addresss is www.themanipaljournal.com
i m super excited.. lets play tag now.. oh n article19 is close and so is mmsc n so is the kalamanch play! so mush to do! yay! i like being busy!

What is one weird thing about you that nobody knows till date?
I hate cutting and combing my hair! Pain in the ass..

Favourite Ice cream flavour?
Has to be.. Honey Nut Crunch.. With yummy hot chocolate fudge on top..

The craziest dream you had in the past one week?
Blah! Never remember my dreams! The ones I remember become my poetry!

One embarassing thing you've done in public, which comes to your mind right now?
I have done only embarrassing things in public.. I m embarrassment personified. From the ghungroo in my feet to the yellow chappals to the horrible jhatak clothes.. to my dance moves and singing in the middle of nowhere.. my loudness in every sense is embarrassing.. how much i talk no! ohh but the best these days is my 'retarded stare' act with kim.. it's killer.. we stare like retards then smile n well eh.. u 've to see it! lol!

Are you going to be attending MMSC? Why or why not?
Obviously.. Goes without saying yaa! MMSC is the best thing to happen to Manipal.. Seriously.. What a cool concept! It means business nevertheless it's gonna be fun.. We 'll get to meet many like minded people and we can share ideas and generate some new ones too! Lets' meet and discuss, debate and deliberate! MMSC is new age and definitely revolutionary! Be a part of it.. It will go down in hitory! Yipee!

I have tagged Arjun Mogre, Allen, Kim, Aaditya Vaze, Vasudha and Aashika!

2008-03-14T15:15:00.000-07:00

There's terror, thunder strikes...
HELP, in Morse code, the lightening flashes...
It rains in ides of march...
The Monsoon is far away...
Yet, the clouds turn grey.

It's raining in March. It's not ok. India has very a defined Monsoon season. This untimely rain is yet another calling. It's the 11th hour. The end is coming. Understanding of the intensity of the situation is crucial now. Global Warming and Climate Change is not a farce. Another deluge will come and no Noah will be born to save every-kind on Earth. We can't stop, but lets' sustain! At this rate - 2 generations hence could be submerged already. As it is, some people in the southern hemisphere are drowned. Drastic difference is happening. Earth is calling. Lets' reach out! High time.
I love the rains when they come by in the Monsoon season, but, at this time? The same white noise which comforts the inner yelling is instigating and the same moist fragrance that soothes the senses is twitching right now.

Rain rain, go away!
Longer, we want the Earth to stay!
Blow away - oh clouds Grey!
Silently, we should now pray.
To our development monster, the Nature has fallen prey!
It's all about bad timing,
Some pollution and littering.
That, the Earth is now calling.

Sadness prevails. Call me pessimist, cynical, retarded, blaah for all I care!

2008-03-14T12:53:00.000-07:00

Today i went to see how the campus - ugh - revels.. I came to realize, fashion shows, are such a waste.. So u wear some funny clothes.. Like honestly - have you ever seen NORMAL people wear those kinda clothes? Then you bring on some very dhinchak music (my dream is fly over the rainbow so high, gimme gimme, la la la, or some weirdass trance-ish beat)... That's that.. then u put on tonnes of make-up.. Hide that smile in a closet.. Wear some Attitude.. And get all the oomph out.. Like ooh.. After all this jazz.. What to do? Walk.. Yes - my friends - Walk!! You walk with extremely pointed - very long - cylindrical - conical - painful - slip ons.. And you walk in a line on a narrow stretch called ramp! What a waste of resources - ugh!

To make things worse - certain somebodies picked up patriotism as a theme - and what do they do - they play the national anthem.. it's the national anthem.. u stand still n pay respect to it, and not play it at a fashion show!! People hear the sweet sound of our national anthem - and what do they do? Well, they start pseudo patronizing it!! Really now.. STOP! DISGRACE!

Enough with the ramp walk.. Stop walking-shocking!

2008-03-03T12:23:00.000-08:00

The Big Bang

When the universe started out, the moon wasn’t there yet… The sun was just forming; it was burning a whole lot of love… God’s love, pagan love, love of the nature, love to nurture (you see that’s why the sun never disrupts our living or blasts at us, it can if it wants to, it’s hot in there). You know the black holes right, they were nice and rainbow coloured when the universe had started out. But they would suck up a lot, suck up to who? Well, the pagan love, God’s love obviously! So with all their sucking up, they just lost the colour. Why couldn’t they just be? That’s why they became ugly and lost the charm n colour. They forgot to reflect light. That, made them black, if only they had he grace of the black like the skin tone black. But no! Ugly black! They sucked up too much. They were just black. The many twinkle-twinkle little stars were churning up gases and creating some sort of luminescence. The planets were gathering mass from here and there and solidifying. The meteors and asteroids were just hanging out; they didn’t want to do concrete work. Some of these meteors were too chilled out, so they became comets. These different entities with different identities, what we can today heavenly bodies, were all very high (up there). They didn’t reach out yet. They felt they needed to settle down. All at once, they decided to progress to the solar system. They came in full form n force. BIG BANG! Well, then?

When they reached the solar system, they decided to find their respective spots and create a world of their own. With a swish and flick, satellites came. The planets came in an order, Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto. The satellites decided to encircle their favorite planet. Jupiter, being the favorite one, of course. The Earth got the pretty moon, flawless and glowing with a mellow subtleness. Now, one of the meteors had the hots of the Earth, so he decided to crash in the moon, to tarnish! Another big bang! The moon then had craters… Earth didn’t care about the looks so the Earth accepted the beautiful moon as it as. Now, the Sun felt happy about this unconditional love that existed between them, the Earth n moon I mean. So what did the Sun do? The Sun gave some light to the Moon. The moon lit up, the Earth shook up, meaning high pulse rate n twirling in love turmoil happened! Another big bang…

Now… The Earth and Moon, the way they loved each other, created a tide. A high one, when there was a lot of passion and a low one, when they were a little less euphoric, but that didn’t mean love depletion, because one of my friends told me today, ‘love is too serious to be romantic’. Well…! Another big bang!
Then the world just started out!

End of theory,
End of story,
And there’s no glory!
(Why are you still reading this?)

2008-02-23T22:23:00.000-08:00

more about the tree theory.. in verse..

They were married to each-other,
He had not come to being a father, and she, a mother.
They were children, with far away puberty.
They lived away in an ancient village, then, existed no city.

He came with his mother adolescent.
Brought along sweets, raisins and many presents.
She peeped from the balcony grilled with climbers green,
That blinded her and the mortal evils were behind the screen.

The morning next day,
She sat in a cart full of hay,
She cried hot tears and had nothing to say.
Her parents had given her away.

He saw her small face from behind the veil,
In distance, he saw another boat, to the horizon, sail...
He gave her a pickle he was eating,
She accepted it and relished the taste.

It was dusk, so they had to take a break.
They reached the house of some relatives,
Who stayed on the way to the boy's native.
They played games and sang songs the whole night.

Next day morning, they were up in time...
They bid farewell to the newly-weds by filling sweets and sang age-old rhyme.
The entire clan, they left.
The girl smiled and looked at the boy.

On the way, there came a STOP!
'Twasn't for any joy or thrill.
The elders stood alert and smart.
Yet they came, the dacoits disrupted and looted!

There was bloodshed.
The child bride and child groom lay dead.
All was done, nothing was said.
On their remains, the scavengers fed.

The souls of the children were unhappy and unsatisfied.
They asked God why they didn't deserve to be buried?
God spoke lo, and sent them back here instantly as trees.
They were rooted, blessed with a fate to never be physically uprooted.

They were children soul, they didn't comprehend the tree spirit.
They decided to play games with the people and other mortals...
The bride turned into a date tree
And they groom turned into cactus.

One being too tall to reach.
The other had thorns a plenty to fish out a screech!

End of story!
Where's the glory?

2008-02-23T22:06:00.000-08:00

muse matter

'Analysis destroys wholes. Some things, magic things are meant to stay whole. When you look at them in pieces, they go away.'

-Robert Kincaid

(Bridges of Madisson County)

2008-01-23T03:30:00.000-08:00

The ride was just comfortable.

The rider was absolutely able.

The road was built well.

Storm was on a stand still.

Luck was favouring.

Yet, he fell.

Perfection complete is not ideal.

One needs friction as well!

(end of story, where's the glory?)

2008-01-23T02:58:00.000-08:00

Being

She sees ahead an equal race...

She sees ahead common grace...

She sees things in a changing phase...

She sees beyond the dry daze...

They see her and ignore,

Then, they show her the damned door.

The tell her that her zeal will eventually go sore!

Was she asking for much more?

Utopia it is, she began to believe!

Shock and trauma she did receive!

From here, would she leave?

Or, would she spread and grieve?

She remembers the freshness of the air,

She remembers how her ideals never brought her despair.

She remembers how twas for her about spirits, thought and dare!

So was grieving after all just and fair?

Then the mind was inspired.

Hope had conspired!

Zeal and courage reined once again and fired...

She walked again, ideals in her hadn't retired!

That's the end of this story,

Sure, there's no glory!

2007-10-15T23:34:00.000-07:00

Tremble in the tower

Melody so insane

Troubles of the turmoil

Wrath of the times

Wrapped in cold humility

He lay beneath the sands of time

Coiled like an animal of lower grace

Poor like the pawn in power-play

Empty crwaled in his mind so full

Speaking of the fall of humanity

Evolution had lost to de-evolution

Man had died and animal had come

The dawn of the cold blue

The dirt in the water, a differernt hue

Unfamilliar to Him

Unfamilliar to us and them

A sorrow of disease crept in sadly

Evolution had lost to de-evolution

He was betrayed

Happiness was lost

The measure had caused to stagnate

Another world, not well placed, created

Negativity to infinity

Life had not sustained

It was the triumph of the dark

With gray clouds, the only source of bright

Light could not lead

Life could not proceed

The Almighty had fallen

'He' had indeed

The cause was not known

A strange rebellion

Of strife, struggle, sorrow

Sniff! A silent prayer

Can He pray?

Who is the Authority now?

God made man

Then, mad was mighty

An appeal to us then

Strangely, we can change

Lets re-incarnate God from this misery

With our bad deeds, what have we made of Him?

Bring back the lost faith!

2007-10-11T03:50:00.000-07:00

troubled time taught a lesson!

In the search for cause,
I missed the moment.
Seeking depths,
I drowned.
Day-dreaming,
Night had come already.

Why so?

Reason being the cause, that was,

Living because the moments never pause.

Sounds are echoing in my head now.

Churn!

Chuckle!

Chime!

Peace this time.

Managing minute by minute,

Routine seeks priority!

Random can rub off now.

2007-10-10T02:20:00.000-07:00

inspired by Kim

sporadic rum?

What is it? Its like bad rum basically.

Where is it? Thalloors'.

Why is it? The old monk sold his ferrari!

Who? The monkey chinkey waiter.

When? 3 weeks ago!

How? baby is puking.

Moral of the story : Sporadic rum gives a rash(its gone now)! Dash dash dash... Blah!

2007-10-10T02:10:00.000-07:00

I learnt this in Manipal.

DON'T JUDGE!

The strangest people can be the nicest ones.

Vote of thanks? The Bang, ET n Kimboh n Manny..

So I will try not to judge.
I will also try and prefer the shoe-size over sun-sign!

As the big Bang always says:
WHY JUDGE?

We cry:

LiBERATE!

Ahem - Kimboh likes gray matter(and attention).

2007-10-10T01:14:00.000-07:00

I was sitting under a tree with my friends Maani, & Kim. Shonali was sitting on the wall. Kim was lamenting about cunning-jive-it-s! Maani was rambling away to glory about the random. He told me that I will get 'it' one day. I got this the same day. I was happy. Thought had come to Manipal, finally! Life has purpose. Buddha sat under the tree & found his answers, Newton sat under the tree and found gravity, I sat under the tree & found this theory... Read on...

The Tree Theory

We are here with a purpose.

Let us assume that the purpose of our lives is 'detachment from our self.'

We have to detach from that self to be selfless. We have to be selfless & offer ourselves for the service of others.

We have to work for the welfare of animals, human-kind, nature and the plants.

But we are unable to reach that state of absolute detachment.

Why?

On the path to detachment, we face many distractions. Distractions like sweet fruits, the Apple, flowers, etc. So we stagnate. We settle for lesser things. We restrict to self & growth is hampered.

We have to make an effort to avoid these distractions. We have to leave the self. That is our purpose...

Some are successful in getting to their purpose.

These people turn into trees. To be a tree is the ultimate nirvana.

So be a tree..

And set free!

When you be the tree, you only do service to the others. The tree gives us shade, it filters our CO2 to the breathing gas, and blah.

And, the distractions like the Apple, fruits and flowers come to us. We bear the distractions. So the pleasure is ours.

Bottom Line:

Be the tree!

2007-08-31T23:36:00.000-07:00

2007-07-06T05:28:00.000-07:00

The bird flies

A bird will learn to fly.
It’s clear skies,
The bright horizon stretches high.
The bird flies.

Flowers bloom across,
The trees wave out,
With joy and pride, she takes a toss!
Flying is her ability, no doubt.

There’s an air around her,
Yet she’s breathless.
If only rooted she were…
Rooted how? A bird flies always!

She stops and rests.
Sits on a branch of the mighty tree.
Lethargy arrests!
Now will she ever be free?

(…what goes, comes around…)

A bird will learn to fly.
It’s clear skies,
The bright horizon stretches high.
The bird flies.

2007-06-27T04:57:00.000-07:00

Just some random thoughts...

The moment has passed….
But I am still here, back in the moment!
All that is done is said…
I am still here, afraid, brain-dead!

---

This world is so typical!
And it has driven me to be,
Liberated, eccentric and cynical!
To be or not to be?

---

There’s always a beginning with an end!
Likewise, an end always has a beginning!I don’t know whether I should look for the end in the beginning, or, the beginning in the end. Life is always contradicting itself. Ugh!

---

2007-06-16T07:27:00.001-07:00

Rain

The passion was not quenched
Why though, she didn’t comprehend.
Her auburn dry face,
Cried dry tears with a psyched grace…

He looked from the heaven,
Sensitively, listening to her, completely taken,
Love and all had to be given.
He started to move down, when…!

The Almighty screamed with all the might
And held him back – really tight!
He wasn’t there within her sight.
Darkness was blown away – there was light.

He was hysterical…
The gloom seeped in, it was dull!
He was sad…
Indeed, he felt bad!

He cried…
Water trickled!
Drip – Drop – Drizzle – Downpour!
Drenched her heart(that was so sore).

The Clouds never come down… They send the rain to quench the passion… Blessed with the passion so pure, the Earth gives birth to lovely lush trees.

2007-06-16T07:27:00.000-07:00

man made measure

Time had not come yet.
Conventions were not set.
Liberation was in the air.
Inhibition was not there.
Hope didn't conspire.
Dreams didn't inspire.
Creativity was blooming.
Human, was created.
Now, human created...
Man made measure,
Measure restricted,
Measure directed.
Mortal, man-made!

Time had come now.
Conventions were set.
Dreams did inspire.
Hope did conspire.
Imagination was sought for.
Stagnation and direction,
Ruled the mighty Earth.
Man made measure,
Measure restricted,
Measure directed.
Mortal, man-made!

all said and done?

or,

none said and done?

was Measure the wrong direction after all?

2007-05-27T02:33:00.000-07:00

elephant fundamental…

They say…
When you say what you feel, you are pure and good. Well, don’t listen to them. Why? Because none of us have the capacity to bear the truth. Live like a caged animal unless you are an elephant.

Size does matter. The bigger you get, the more they want to listen (even if you are lying!) So get really big and pour that damn heart out… Whether you are good or bad, they will listen to you.
But when you do get big like the elephant, you learn that listening is better. So your ears get bigger and mouth smaller.

2007-05-27T02:32:00.000-07:00

The white moon was engulfed,
By the dark murky sky.
Winds of violence hovering above,
No light to reflect,
The black night was creeping in.
Black smoke like clouds declared:
The trouble in this turmoil…
She sat there, wasted…
With arms open wide…
And screamed a plea…
‘LIBERATE!’
The sky roared.
She is now against the sky…
Whose scream will reign?
Hers’ or Heavens’?

2007-05-27T02:31:00.000-07:00

Emotion loved Reason.
Reason was too blinded by analysis to see..
Emotion befriended Hope.
Hope was addictive like dope.
Emotion was wasted.
Reason was too blinded by analysis to see.

2007-05-27T02:30:00.000-07:00

Passion gave it a start
Emotion played its part
Thought, thought otherwise
Slowly love dies
Now was Thought wise?
Or Otherwise?

2007-05-20T22:07:00.000-07:00

Moon and Crab

Strong and silent,
The Moon stood.
It took the sea in its stride.
There came a high tide.
The froth surfaced,
Shells on the beach, parked.
The Crab clumsily came.
Everyday was just the same.
The Crab grumbled,
‘Lunatic Luna… :-p’
The Moon got very upset,
She went under cloudy cover.
The sea stagnated.
The crab slept.

Came Sun,
The Moon - wiped out.
Came Fisherman,

The Crab - wiped out.

2007-05-20T22:05:00.001-07:00

Duck asked Puck,
‘why do you have to chamak?’
puck said to duck,
‘cuz to chamak is a hak’
duck told puck,
‘then chuck chuck!
I don’t want that hak.’

Puck said to Duck,
‘remember Bob Marley?’
duck told puck,
‘yes!!! Loved him… Yippee!’
puck sang to duck,
‘Get up Stand up…
Stand up for your rights!’

Now, duck told puck,
‘Chuck chamak,
there’s more to rights, my Puck!
Chamak is a matter of luck.
My right is many a thing,
Like the cause of Ugly Duckling.
And why only cuckoos sing?
And why we ducks don’t fly despite wing?’

Puck said to Duck,
‘You are so mature,
I was mistaken, dear creature.
Now I will make fruitful, my future.
Chuck Chamak!
Chuck Chamak!’

2007-05-20T22:02:00.000-07:00

just a story.

‘just one dance!
Please…’,
He insisted.

She was reluctant.
He would not listen.
He was insistent.
It was time already, he had to hasten.

‘tick – Tock – tick’,
The old fashioned clock screamed.
12 times the bell did ring.
She went pale…

(No, this is no Cinderella story,
It’s about a woman’s glory!)

He was drunk,
His breath did stink.
She pulled at his sleeve,
He pushed her away.

She spoke softly,
‘Honey… That’s enough!’
He would not listen,
She had to hasten.

He had lost control.
His nervous system was sore.
He fought with all…
Bad breath – foul words…

She was very upset.
A tear trickled and tricked…
His conscience was pricked.
He came to her.

She drove him home.
He slept like a baby.
She smiled softly.
And caressed his hair.

End of story,
Where’s the glory?
We all get carried away…
We fumble and sway.

Life’s like that!

2007-05-03T00:41:00.000-07:00

boho chic is out!

get boho grunge!

inspired by my life...

designed by:

uh-me

for:

all lotus eaters, messy people, chilled out people, people who don't care about what the world thinks about my clothes, my kinda people, crazy people, people who HATE shopping, fashion-aversed people and blah blah, and bored people, and people who hear their mom cribbin bout how sucky their appearance is and yeah - me!

colours:

oranges, shades of brown, dull blues/greens, maroons, black, white.. blah!

wear a kurta of any of the above mentioned colours! And, wear your favorite old pair of jeans(does your mom crib bout this old pair of jeans, if she does, then, don't worry, yours are purrrfect!)

Now wash your hair.. Don't comb em or brush em.. Let the knots be! Clutch em with a clip...

Wear your Bandra chappals...(no leather please!!!)

Wear junk jewellery.

Use Charlie - Sunshine.

Hang your jholaa..

And...

Ta da!

Get out...

PS: brown kohl is the best for the look!

now I m bored of writin this crap...

2007-05-02T23:35:00.000-07:00

(this image is only for representative purposes.)

'every dog has his day...
every day has its way - of being forgotten!!'

(from 'What Would You Say' by 'Dave Matthews Band')

I love that somehow!! It's so appealing.

2007-05-02T02:51:00.000-07:00

inspired by Midhun. I wrote this two years ago.

Barrel of Alcohol

You were filled to the brim
Now you are empty
When you were filled…
People fought for you
But – now…
You are empty – lying there worthless!

You gave so many hangovers –
And to many, bad livers

Oh – He is filling you again,
You are smiling & willing to continue the evil.
Why do you want to quench wrong thirst?
And leave those related, you cursed

Better realize – you carry…
The remainder of putrefaction
Something that happens without…
THE BREATHING GAS

No wonder you leave them breathless
You take lives & break old ties.

2007-05-02T02:42:00.000-07:00

I wrtoe this two years ago..

‘Miss Understanding’

She chooses few…
Trust me – they are SO privileged.
Oh – she is very important!

Any relationship shared…
Is based on her.
She is the foundation.

She loves logic.
Anything beyond…
Is an illusion?

She does not betray…
She only supports.
But…

Unfortunately…
She is ill…
She has split personality.

Sometimes, she transforms to…
Misunderstanding.
Then – she is twisted.

Logic – her lover,
Has made her hence ill.
But, she blinded by love to see so…

She does not see that…
Sometimes, things beyond logic are…
Not illusions.

These are things the heart feels.
We have termed them ‘emotions’.
She can’t see them.
Blinded by love (IRONICALLY!)

So, let logic live… And, let emotions breathe as well. Because, if this is not done… Then… ‘Misunderstanding’ replaces ‘Miss Understanding’.

2007-05-01T06:11:00.002-07:00

All we need is reason
Consciously or not.
We seek & seek
When we find the reason
We do & then overdo
When done, overdone, we end.
Then again:
All we need is reason
Give Zero a cause
And something begins
So find the reason
And let things begin
Seek & stop
Stop & seek
Seek-Stop-Seek-Stop

2007-05-01T06:11:00.001-07:00

There was once a dog.
He liked to walk in fog.
He barked.
And there was a spark.
Alas! He is dead.
Now who told him to lose his head?
Moral of the story:
Never walk in the dark to die in a blaze of glory!

2007-05-01T06:09:00.000-07:00

‘To me its purple, to you its red’
For all of them, me, and you
It’s a different hue.

Seek it in a love song
Or the Mills & Boons
See it in his eyes
Or feel it in the heart
If you feel you are in love,
Then, you sure are.
Stop questioning it.
Now, don’t you read this…
You are in love,
Go love!

2007-05-01T06:07:00.000-07:00

I was studying for an entrance exam.. I came across this word, ‘insoucient’… You know what it means… It means carefree…. Can you believe that… Like a ‘carefree’ person actually cares about a word like that… Give me a break!

2007-04-30T22:48:00.000-07:00

'Come out of thy meditations and leave cried thy flowers
and incense!
What harm is there if thy clothes become tattered and
stained?
Meet Him and stand by Him in toil and in in sweat of thy
brow.'
---Tagore
inspiring...

2007-04-30T22:45:00.000-07:00

puck said to duck..
Chamak Chamak..
duck said to puck..
Ugh, U suck!

2007-03-26T14:20:00.000-07:00

Buried under the sands of time,
Layer over layer..
Why am I bound by time?

Shadows hovering like ghosts.
Breathless and broken..
Go away people!

Laws and logic?
Reason and cause?
Imagination is slowly dying.

Science or notion
Culture and tradition
Society is a vain struggle

Can't there be only Zero?
An emptyness?
Freedom?
No questioning.
No reason.
The nothingness to create.
The Zero
So I could create?

'You may say I am a dreamer,
But I am not the only one!'
(John Lennon)

2007-03-26T14:02:00.000-07:00

Crushed pieces lay down on the floor.. Stepped over.. Powdered now, with pressure.. Wind blows them away... Far away in time.. Time heals.. A force binds the pieces close together.. Merged finally.. She walks her path, with no wind to inspire.. And time is behind her.. From pieces to peace!

2007-03-26T04:35:00.000-07:00

People come and people go…
Stories stay,
To haunt, when they are away.
Emotions overwhelm the mind.
Causing the comers to get going.
Memories remain
To steadily fade away,
And make way
For new comers…
Again, emotions overwhelm the mind
People come and people go.

2007-03-26T04:33:00.000-07:00

Golden gleam
Don’t shimmer and shine
Golden gleam
Don’t burn my eye
Golden gleam
Don’t conquer my mind
Golden gleam
Don’t slaughter my grip
Golden gleam
Don’t merge in me
Golden gleam
Don’t harness greed
Golden gleam
Don’t Shimmer and shine

2007-03-23T16:33:00.001-07:00

Inspired by: Apurva

She was destined to be
And so was He
With Zero to foresee
Deeper, drowning in Destiny

Lotus-eaters, they were
Devouring the dope
Freedom, their only hope
Weird wisdom wasted

She did not move
Patiently, she waited for the call
Subtle currents were humming
While she was waiting to be taken wholly

He sat on the rock
Watching the green leaves turn yellow
When the smoky looking sky
Poured down with all its might

The rock was displaced
Gravel and ground eroded
He rolled in the stream
A surreal stride took him

The current was in rage now
Screaming waves were in pace
She was taken in daze
The rest was dissolved

Flooded fortune finally
She and He were woken up by dawn
The somber sun smiled
They had met

Feeling love and loved
She and He were We
So it was meant to be
Written in destiny

Maktub

2007-02-04T23:37:00.000-08:00

For eDDy…
Happy Birthday!!

He walked again
In a crowded street
People came
They saw in him difference
Yet he smiled with modest indifference
He jumped a little
He felt the clouds
He stooped a little
He felt he was drowning
He jumped from beneath, again
He reached the ground

He sat in a shop
With many merry people around
He discussed, debated & then declared
‘I must leave – there’s more to see!’
People followed him
Begging him to please stay on
They nudged
Pulled at his sleeve
And brought him under
He jumped from beneath, again
He reached the ground

He stood in a corner
Watching people go by
Some he did know
And some he didn’t know
Impulse and Introspection
He befriended
Yet he stood alone
Shadows spoke to him
Darkening his home
He jumped from beneath, again
He reached the ground

He saw a stream
He ran for the stream
The closer he went, further it got
Illusion had come
It broke him down
Shattered, several pieces on the ground
Layer over layer
Sand and stone
He jumped from beneath, again
He reached the ground

Rhyme and reason
Came Revolution
A cult created
A culture lost
He smiled
The moon was bright
And the light of life
Gave him wings of words
He jumped from the ground
He soared
One with the tune
As I watch him from the ground!

Need I say more? All the best!
- Your greatest fan…

2007-02-04T23:35:00.000-08:00

I love all of you!! Please don’t take offence guys!!

10 years down the line…

Veena & Prachi:
They will be owners of the ‘Vadke-Venkat Finances Pvt. Ltd.’, a firm known for the best CA’s around. Prachi will be married to her beloved Jai and she will be the proud mom of her son ‘Mihir’, she will be bald cuz she has enough hair right now! Veena will be married to Balasubramani Narayan Vatapattu Swami Muthu(pet name – bala) and she will have a daughter named Dhanlaxmi Priya Vijya Jam Bam Gam Mamoothy Venkat Swami Muthu(pet name – dhanu)

Roshni:
Will be blowing off all her cool marwari husband’s money shopping in Atria mall and going for Kitty parties… And ya – she will baby sit Apurva’s kids! Oops – he own kids as well…
Apurva:
She will be the HRD head of ‘Tip-Top records’. She will be married to her sidey glares guys… eeeiu! And ya – she will have a mansion in the middle of the Arabian sea. She will gift Roshni a diamond ring, ummm, I wonder why?

Shalaka:
Proud owner of Omkara Bhaigiri Ltd.(Supari do – Tapori lo!) in Sion-Koliwada. Part time machchi waali… Married to our beloved ‘Uncle’ and the proud mom of the sabnees twins… sss!
Vinee:
SUPER RICH
Married to the best rich guy in the world. Apurva’s guruji gave her the potion to seduce him for a lifetime! Cool life, full of shopping bags, no kid menace, sleep, & obesity!

eDDy jee:
will do a PhD on the life of ‘Jim Morrison’… Will be name for anything ‘new age’ on India. Will be known for his flirty ways with women… Ahem… Will starts a chain of breakfast and brunch restaurants, called, ‘Bun-Maska’! Will own the bandra fort where he will make a luxurious home for himself and his family and his closest friends! Will be Rahul Bose’s successor. Now he will be the chairperson of the NGO, ‘The Foundation… Homosexuality will be a major cause he will take up! And he will have a woman for a chauffeur! (part time ‘Sarkar’ as well!)

Dhanashree:
The next Nandita Das – need I say more?
And haan – acting in all Vaze movies!!
Vaze:
Most successful marathi director-writer!! Yay!! Qualified from FTII and totally cool. Would be now entering Hindi cinema! And ya – he will get Yoko Height Increaser to increase his height cuz his wife will be 7 feet tall(main meri patni aur who – lol!)

Done bhai:
New party head of ‘Telgu Desam Party’ – LOL!

Arjun:
The next k-jo
Will have a talk show ‘A-Mo’s Muah!’ and will have made the melodramatic block-buster movie call ‘kuch kuch pyaar hai’ – ‘Inspiration works’… All will be good with Prerna too!

Varun:
OH SO Payal-ish!!!!!!!!

Midhun:
Will look after his dad’s kaarobaar like a good son! Will wear lungi at all times! And will be married to some Lolla Kutty!

Swati:
Will be a boring software engineer. But will be married to a hot rich hunk… drool!!! And will be pregnant for the first time!

Manali:
Married to Mihir Godbole, and she will have record-breaking 9 kids, who she will name, ‘A’, ‘B’, ‘C’, ‘D’, ‘E’, ‘F’ ‘G’, ‘H’ and ‘I’… She will have taken over the administration of Jehangir Art Gallery… cool na!!

Bhakti:
Volunteer for ‘Veggie Sabha Mandal’… Married to Jignesh. Will have 2 kids, Jigna @ Bhajan!! And yeah – she will be a successful research person in the bio-thing!!!

Shobhana:
Married to Muthuswami Shesaadhri, who she fell in love with when she was at IIT!

Arsheen:
Renamed to Kehkasha… Successful doctor who will be working for women’s rights. Author of the book, ‘Doctors love’… will be married to a terrorist! LOL!

Shachi:
Owner of ‘Jelly Belly Chocolates’, a hug free with every chocolateyou buy… Muah! She’s so cute!!

Maithilee:
News reporter for the ‘bad-bad bulletin’ on Anwal News!

Anwita:
Proud owner of Anwal group!

Neha – Gaurav – Shraddha – Zoshi:
Coaching class for History-BA level, Politics-BA level and of course IAS!

Falguni:
RJ on ‘Garam Chai’ – 1000007 FM!

Modi:
He will be a very very very famous criminal lawyer, who will be late(not fashionably) for every session!

Ramu:
New Mani Ratnam! After IIT – he will go to FTII! Yay!

Janhavi:
Famous Maths dudette! Shakunatala devi types!

Nandita:
Happily married… Working for Cadbury… Cuz she’s so sweet!

Karishma:
Happily married to Ghatgay! Lol!

Rohan J:
Married and will have 2 twin girlies, Scarlet and Sarah! Next Rehman!!!!

Aparna & Prachi G:
Will start a food factory, Prachi ka bheja aur Aparna ka Khaana!

Shivakami: Host of the talk show 'Matter-of-factly'

Rahul: New choreographer for Nach Baliye 20

Imran: Will open a biryani shop in bandra

2007-01-31T02:47:00.000-08:00

An ‘I’ for an ‘I’
They gave me an identity
They gave me an I
I was made noun
I was named

I am bordered with identity
I am to be the ‘I’ they made me

My growth so finite

To be identified
Is success to most?

Well
What if
I wasn’t an ‘I’
Could I be zero then?
I would be endless, to eternity

Alas! I am a mortal being
I am…

2007-01-27T04:41:00.000-08:00

drip - drop - dump!
thoughts thwart
complicating curves
no room for rest
rest rusts?

mind - the mind!
throw away theories!
leave aside the logic!

My friend -
Stop thinking!!!

'All day long you think of things'
Then think this...
Where is the time to let go!

for once -
feel the fresh air...
(without thinking where it came from!)

2007-01-27T04:33:00.000-08:00

feel the flow
the calm of the black
the refined grains of air
the voice and melody of silence
shhh...
song of silence...
hush...
softer than a whisper
with the tenderness of a child
The prayer of the Almighty
Talking to time
It's the song of silence
In garb of the moonlit night
The pure warmth of the white
Hidden in the calm of the black
In harmony
The simplicity and intensity
You can't listen to it
Feel the song of silence

2007-01-22T21:53:00.000-08:00

They say, never go by the ‘face value’…
I think otherwise!
I don’t think face value can be deceiving…

When I see the ‘face’,
I see what it does express!
The eye, nose and smile,
Can sketch out a profile.
The expressions the faces make…
Can tell you what you can take!

Face value stoops in just one place,
In the mirror that reflects!

Faces shouldn’t merely please the eye!
The eyes should see the beauty in the deep of the ‘I’…

Don’t make face, the value…
Nevertheless, don’t ignore face value.

As it goes, there’s always a hitch,
‘Facades’ can ditch.

So peal the facade,
See the face.

Eh!

2006-12-09T04:28:00.000-08:00

I slept dream-free
I woke up carefree
No crows did crow
No bees did buzz
No sun did sparkle
No wind did whisper
No men did mingle
It was pitch dark
A sickening silence seeped in.
I rubbed my eyes (dry tears came) –
I could not feel –
I felt stone – stoic…
The feeling of not feeling,
The thought of not thinking,
Was absurd…
I felt empty…
God came down to me…
Asked me to change my destiny,
At this moment – I was happy!
The happiness was only momentary…
I realized –
Even if I had changed my destiny
It would be temporary!
Because God wrote us all a different story…
(Talk about creativity.)
The end to those stories was one…
For you and me, destiny is all things Earthly!
Limited to what we can see…
I told God:
That I don’t want the chance to change!
God smiled and vanished!
The black glowed to white.
The world was alive again.
But I wasn’t there.
I was…
One with the blackness of the Zero…
My end –
My destiny –
Everybody’s destiny!

2006-10-18T03:33:00.000-07:00

The child of filth..
Dwelling under the roofless skies,
Living on the edge...
Breathing the suffocating air,
Tangled, tanned - her hair are rough.
Dry, Harsh, Dark - her skin.
She droops with the pressure:
The child in her is dead.
Drowning in her own tears,
She is everyday...
She loathes the world.
Though - She is not afraid!
Everyday for her..
Is a battle..
To just LIVE.
She knows no God or Hope..
Nor of Family or Friends..
She only knows that PEOPLE exist!
Some like her, some better,
Some happy, some sad,
Some optimistic, some pessimistic,
Some harsh, some soft,
et al..
But none worse..
She dies a death everyday!
And she is born again,
To only die!
She is:
a beggar girl..
On the Mumbai street.

2006-08-31T23:54:00.000-07:00

ZERO

You start with me..
You end with me..
All through your 'life',
You ignore me..
I am..
The Circle of life...!
Realize and Understand...
Stop moving in the other vicious circles..!
The Cirle of life is me...
Zero..
Void - Breathless with life...
Vacuum - With depth infinite!
The Circle of Life!
ZERO!

2006-08-07T10:35:00.000-07:00

...

2006-06-04T01:10:00.000-07:00

crack...
outta pressure - it did!

crash...
it fell!

hurt...
those same pieces did!

2006-05-26T11:13:00.000-07:00

Blank Pages

The wind passes over you.
You tremble and turn over…
You are empty with nothing,
And filled with empty.
Thirsty for ink…
Awaiting that scribble.
Poetry or prose
Or just something abstract!
You ensure space!
You are blessed with innocence.
Until one pens down on you:
You are ignorant!
And you are ignorant to the extent…
That you know no right or wrong!
The pages with potential…
Blank Pages!!!

2006-05-26T11:12:00.000-07:00

Reflection

Sand and silver polish…
Curved edges fitting the wooden frame!

Tassels of beads hang below
The mirror maker smiled!
He sold it to her…

It stood with cold confidence…
And commanded ‘importance’!
She looked in it:
And smiled!

Her beauty,
On the surface emerged!
It showed her skin-deep with perfection.
Again, with pride she smiled!

At night before sleeping…
She covered it with muslin cloth!
She kissed it and blushed!
She smiled with pride!

She woke up in the morning…
And unleashed the muslin cloth covering it:
She stood there…
Admiring her beauty with vanity.

Her friends and family:
Left her forsaken!

She did not care…
She needed no company.
Her reflection and her self
Were good enough for her!

One night…
The guard made a mistake.
A lamp fell…
And fire was spread.
The eerie night…
Was black with smoke.
And, choking because of carbon…
It was blackened as well!

She was a victim.
She was burnt and cold.
It was blackened – yet stood erect!

She looked in it…
She saw and smiled!
Her face was burnt black…
Yet – vanity clad!
Because…
She only saw what she wanted to…
Her self –
The soul within!
Reflection being mere perception!

2006-05-26T09:59:00.000-07:00

The Candle

Serene, white and flowing,
Her gown of wax...
She is erect and bold,A woman in her modest youth.
Suddenly - a spark lights her up,
And she blushes with orange - strangely...
Flakes of blues...
Turn her mellow...
Wild - creeps in...
Her flame betrays!
With the attracting currents-
The flame trembles...
Her flame extinguishes:
With the emerging black soul.
Now, here she stands...
Disfigured - broken - cold!
Her soul is burnt!
Look - what he has done!
The darkness is intensified -
She is breathless - lost in void!

2006-05-26T09:51:00.000-07:00

Heights/Depths

He was right there.
Scaling the mountain,Fighting the curving obstacles...
He had reached that target.
He was content..
He laughed and looked down:
He saw that he was looked upon!
He laughed...
He saw how small everything was.
He felt like a king.
He was happy:
That nobody could reach the point where he was!
As time passed by:-
He grew tired of this.
The icy cold crept in...
He loathed these heights.
He was so high that:
He could not bend...
He could not reach out!
He cried icy tears.
The icy peak cried as well...
The river of these tears:
Made it's way down there...
As the river went downwards:
It supported many,And life thrived by it!
It met with the sea..
It went to the further depths.
In these depths:
The tears moistened the oysters.
They opened up:
And - pearls were released!
He was up there...
He had perished.
In this state of slumber.
The river took his burden.
It reached him to those depths!
He awakened from slumber.
He saw!
He saw the pearls.
He realized that this was what he always wanted.
Alas! It was too late.
The target of his life:
Was not in the illusionary heights...
It was in the drowning depths!
Slumber came in again!
He was thrusted to the surface.
And there, he was reborn...
Reborn - to drown in depths!

2006-05-26T09:47:00.000-07:00

Well... I thought that it was true love that would last forever... it didn't. He didn't love me... I did and I still do...

My True Love!

Just like the horizon…
The closer you get:
The togetherness is increased;
Making two ends meet,
All accepted…
Aiming to only unify!
Boundaries – don’t exist…

Just like the first rain,
The passion is quenched!
The sorrow is washed away.
The fear is drained!
Blessed with crops, fruits and flowers:
The flourish and lush is spread.
The freshness and pulse, everlasting…

Just like a maturing seed…
Sown deep in the soil…
It is nurtured with an endless future,
It breaks free and keeps growing!
It is flowery, fruitful and calm.
It knows no hatred.
It lives and lets live!

In that mind, body and soul…
Love is there deep within!
That pulsating silence,
When I look into your eyes.
That beating heart,
When I feel the heat.
That naughty smile,
When…
That telepathy, predictability,
When you understand.
That warm breath,
When you are close.
That sweet and sour tinge,
When we disagree.
That help and that presence,
When I need that maturity in you.
That backing-up and security,
When I am upset.
My words…
Can’t express enough…
All that love…
When I know you will be there…
All of my love…
Because – you are the only one!
My first love – forever!
The one true love!
I love you!
Thank you!
I love you so much!

2006-05-26T09:45:00.000-07:00

Simple ands soft melody:
I hear it and assimilate…
The beauty of simplicity,
Lies in its innocence…
Innocence, child-like!
That is pure and beautiful.
But-
Can we live with innocence?
Assuming that innocence is ignorance?
When, ignorance is bliss!
‘Bliss’ – a state most strive for…
Hence, people disturb your bliss…
The cause being resentment…

Again-
Simple and soft melody:
I hear it and assimilate…
I would prefer my bliss-
To anything!
Because… Innocence is in ‘child’…
And - child is closest to Almighty:
Here – the beauty of simplicity!